The Relief of being a Young Woman in Christ
I have finally begun to post blogs onto this barren account that has been lying around for the better part of a year. Initially when I posted it, I was not a Christian. However I am a Christian now, and would like to dedicate this to Christ what He has been teaching me in my new walk with Him in the hope that I may bring Him glory and help any of you curious Christians, or even non-believers, out there.
It seems highly appropriate then to begin with a sort of testimony that gives some background to my life, and also an account of what I have learned recently. So I'll begin with this question- where would I be right now without Christ?
It seems highly appropriate then to begin with a sort of testimony that gives some background to my life, and also an account of what I have learned recently. So I'll begin with this question- where would I be right now without Christ?
I've only begun embarking on a beautiful, fulfilling and, at times, heart-wrenching spiritual journey with my Lord and Saviour, a near year-long chapter that was filled with extreme highs and lows, shameful mistakes and lessons that could not be more valuable. This is only a sip of the ocean of knowledge and guidance I am to receive from Him in this world, and what a sip it has been. Yet if problems that I had in my old man still remain, though the brunt is both deepened and relieved strangely both at the same time, where would I be if I had never met my beautiful Saviour?
Before I came to know Christ, I had for years suffered with crippling low self esteem. I am yet a young woman, so I often thought it very normal for my age to have a negative body image of myself. It was only when I became a Christian that I realised this negative body image often fluctuated to depression, and even verged on an eating disorder and self harm. I had never understood my vicious self criticisms and mood swings- I had a loving family, a great friend. I had youth, health and an education- I was a partaker in the lucky group of women in the world that were literate. I used this confusion as fuel to criticise myself further- I would hate myself for my weakness, my mood swings, my boundless crying. I thought that I was unhappy because I wasn't pretty, I hadn't found fulfillment in a man, or in an image that could be adopted. Would I be happier if I were this kind of person? What if I were to be more active in this cause? I became self obsessed, critical and hateful of myself.
Because the world inadvertently expresses it's view of a woman's worth through the blatant and shameful objectification of women, I was convinced that my self worth came from my looks, actions and character. As I had no patience at all for my own personality and no confidence whatsoever in my looks, I was always paranoid that other people would think the same.
It is a sad case, but I am sure I wasn't alone. It is easy to undermine the problem that I suffered and simply say that I needed to grow up, however once you examine society, of course women are going to develop extreme complexes about themselves. Women are taught that fulfillment comes in having money, having as many sexual conquests as possible (whether male or female), and from looking as desirable as possible. This was the woman that men wanted and desired, that people like and appraised- this is what success and happiness was painted as for a woman. This was something I was convinced I was never going to achieve.
Along with this, the cause to my problem was simply sin. Sin may effect you in any part of your life, this for me was my main problem. It was a confusing and deep wound in my life, and I still have scars to show. I still battle with self criticism and a negative image of myself. However I have finally accepted that this is something Christ is taking time to heal in my life. He has relieved me from many sins almost immediately that I battled with, but with this He is choosing to take His time. This is something I am grateful for, because it has allowed me to realise my self obsession and sinful view of self worth, and look to Him for all that is true, right, good, pure and lovely. He has focused in on this so that I may surrender everything that I suffer and once believed at the cross. He is using this so that I may discover what true beauty, true love and true happiness is- it is Him.
Before I came to know Christ, I had for years suffered with crippling low self esteem. I am yet a young woman, so I often thought it very normal for my age to have a negative body image of myself. It was only when I became a Christian that I realised this negative body image often fluctuated to depression, and even verged on an eating disorder and self harm. I had never understood my vicious self criticisms and mood swings- I had a loving family, a great friend. I had youth, health and an education- I was a partaker in the lucky group of women in the world that were literate. I used this confusion as fuel to criticise myself further- I would hate myself for my weakness, my mood swings, my boundless crying. I thought that I was unhappy because I wasn't pretty, I hadn't found fulfillment in a man, or in an image that could be adopted. Would I be happier if I were this kind of person? What if I were to be more active in this cause? I became self obsessed, critical and hateful of myself.
Because the world inadvertently expresses it's view of a woman's worth through the blatant and shameful objectification of women, I was convinced that my self worth came from my looks, actions and character. As I had no patience at all for my own personality and no confidence whatsoever in my looks, I was always paranoid that other people would think the same.
It is a sad case, but I am sure I wasn't alone. It is easy to undermine the problem that I suffered and simply say that I needed to grow up, however once you examine society, of course women are going to develop extreme complexes about themselves. Women are taught that fulfillment comes in having money, having as many sexual conquests as possible (whether male or female), and from looking as desirable as possible. This was the woman that men wanted and desired, that people like and appraised- this is what success and happiness was painted as for a woman. This was something I was convinced I was never going to achieve.
Along with this, the cause to my problem was simply sin. Sin may effect you in any part of your life, this for me was my main problem. It was a confusing and deep wound in my life, and I still have scars to show. I still battle with self criticism and a negative image of myself. However I have finally accepted that this is something Christ is taking time to heal in my life. He has relieved me from many sins almost immediately that I battled with, but with this He is choosing to take His time. This is something I am grateful for, because it has allowed me to realise my self obsession and sinful view of self worth, and look to Him for all that is true, right, good, pure and lovely. He has focused in on this so that I may surrender everything that I suffer and once believed at the cross. He is using this so that I may discover what true beauty, true love and true happiness is- it is Him.
God has taught me that my worth is not in myself, but in Jesus Christ and what He has done for me, for us. God, as my Father, is completely rebuilding everything I once thought that a woman should be. He has taken an idolatrous, promiscuous and selfish sinner, and turned
her into a loving and attentive daughter as though she were a child
again, sitting on her Father's knee with love and awe as He is telling her of purity and chastity, how beauty can be found in the quiet and gentle spirit of a woman through her charity, nurturing and longsuffering. He has taught me the role I was created to fill, how glorious the marriage covenant really is, and most importantly, who He is, why He loves me and what He wants from me as a daughter and disciple in this world.
He has recently shown me the importance of running from all fleshly lusts, from obsession and admonishment of the body and worldly beauty, and run towards Christ and His beauty, that may be found in us when we strive to inhabit His attributes, to be conformed to the image of the Son by the grace and guidance of God and the Holy Spirit.
I know I focused a lot on women in this post, and daughters of God. I have done so because I am a recovering daughter who was fed a lie, and this may help both women and men alike understand. To young men, I advise that while you admire the outward beauty of whoever God has chosen for you to love and serve, show your love and admiration for the godly attributes that she has in Christ. Be respectful towards the purity, individuality and chastity that God holds so dear in His daughters, encourage it. Women bloom not only when they are shown appreciation for their outer bodies (although of course it does help with our acceptance and happiness as to how we are, it is like a sickness when you have a negative view of how you look) but when we are given room to practice the attributes that God so loves and admonishes.
Too much attention on our bodies and looks creates that imbalance as to what we place our self worth in, and creates doubt as to what that person may esteem in us also. Men, women think all sorts of things. She may be thinking "Is it merely a physical attraction? What happens if someone better looking comes along, when I'm old? What does he think when he sees someone else who is good looking- no, better looking?" Our assurance of your love and faithfulness comes from how Christ wishes us to love and serve you, and also from how and what you love and esteem in us.
As I write this, I myself need to take this in. The battle with insecurity is a long and haughty one that tonight Christ taught me can be won over through transforming how I view myself and my worth, and submitting to God and esteeming Him all the more. Of course, only He can help us do that. The world can fool us easily, and the heart is more deceptive than you know. Pray to God tonight that He may help you to be a more zealous servant, for an on going thirst for His Word, and to live for Him in every and any aspect of your life. I know I'm praying hard for this for myself!
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
- Proverbs 31:30
He has recently shown me the importance of running from all fleshly lusts, from obsession and admonishment of the body and worldly beauty, and run towards Christ and His beauty, that may be found in us when we strive to inhabit His attributes, to be conformed to the image of the Son by the grace and guidance of God and the Holy Spirit.
I know I focused a lot on women in this post, and daughters of God. I have done so because I am a recovering daughter who was fed a lie, and this may help both women and men alike understand. To young men, I advise that while you admire the outward beauty of whoever God has chosen for you to love and serve, show your love and admiration for the godly attributes that she has in Christ. Be respectful towards the purity, individuality and chastity that God holds so dear in His daughters, encourage it. Women bloom not only when they are shown appreciation for their outer bodies (although of course it does help with our acceptance and happiness as to how we are, it is like a sickness when you have a negative view of how you look) but when we are given room to practice the attributes that God so loves and admonishes.
Too much attention on our bodies and looks creates that imbalance as to what we place our self worth in, and creates doubt as to what that person may esteem in us also. Men, women think all sorts of things. She may be thinking "Is it merely a physical attraction? What happens if someone better looking comes along, when I'm old? What does he think when he sees someone else who is good looking- no, better looking?" Our assurance of your love and faithfulness comes from how Christ wishes us to love and serve you, and also from how and what you love and esteem in us.
As I write this, I myself need to take this in. The battle with insecurity is a long and haughty one that tonight Christ taught me can be won over through transforming how I view myself and my worth, and submitting to God and esteeming Him all the more. Of course, only He can help us do that. The world can fool us easily, and the heart is more deceptive than you know. Pray to God tonight that He may help you to be a more zealous servant, for an on going thirst for His Word, and to live for Him in every and any aspect of your life. I know I'm praying hard for this for myself!
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
- Proverbs 31:30
Well said, amen
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